The Silent Engagement Killer I See In Successful People (and How to Fix It)
Most of us have been conditioned to lead from the outside in. But rarely do we stop and ask, “Am I still in alignment with who I really am?”
The world of leadership needs a humane shift.
Away from fear-based control and toward an approach rooted in emotional intelligence, purpose, growth, and service to others.
In Humane Leadership, you’ll learn how to create a workplace where:
Your team feels empowered, respected, and supported in doing their best work.
You lead with authenticity and confidence, inspire radical love in action, and cultivate meaningful results.
Ready to shift your leadership style and create a workplace culture that attracts top talent, fosters lasting loyalty, and delivers real results
I'm seeing an interesting shift happening in the business world. More high-level decision-makers — very successful, I may add — are coming to me asking for coaching to raise their self-awareness around limiting beliefs and mindsets.
What's in the water?
Well, I figured it out. People in high places — executives, founders, scholars, investors, educators, and others — are figuring out that their inner and outer worlds are misaligned.
Let me expand on this.
The Great Misalignment
These days, you can be wildly successful — great title, thriving business, high-performing team — and still feel like something's off.
Maybe it shows up as constant overthinking. Or a sense of disconnect between the face you wear at work and who you are behind closed doors. Maybe you're exhausted from making decisions that look right but don’t feel right.
That feeling? It’s a signal. And you shouldn’t ignore it. For many leaders I work with, it points to a deeper misalignment — a lack of congruence.
What is Congruence?
Congruence is the experience of being deeply aligned, where your inner world (your values, beliefs, emotions, and purpose) is in sync with your outer world (your actions, decisions, and leadership presence).
On the flip side, that “off” feeling? It’s often a sign of incongruence — when your outer success no longer reflects your inner values, purpose, or truth.
Living and leading in congruence means showing up the same in every room because you’re not switching masks. It’s making decisions from a grounded place, rather than reacting to pressure, ego, or performance anxiety.
Congruence isn’t perfection — it’s being whole and authentic, even when the sh*t hits the fan and you don't have all the answers. And when you lead from that place, people feel it. It's palpable.
Why It Matters
So, what's the why behind congruence? Well, without it, you risk burnout, self-sabotage, disengagement, and a slow drift away from what initially drew you to leadership.
With it, you lead with clarity, confidence, and calm. Your team feels safer. Your decisions are cleaner. And you're more fulfilled. Does that resonate?
If so, tune in to Thursday’s paid post. I’ll be sharing steps you need to take if you are feeling or acting out of congruence — the same steps I advise my global coaching clients to do.
If you’ve been thinking about upgrading your subscription, now’s a great time to do it.
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I know others would too. What’s one insight, challenge, or question you’re sitting with after reading this? Share it in the comments and let’s keep the conversation going.
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